The truth behind the story of the tortoise and the hare

My first exercise in HZ101 to rewrite a childhood story.

Oh man. I lost it big time. I still can't believe that I lost to tortoise in that race.

It's humiliating.

I could still recall that day when I was telling that group of hare-babes that race of the century in which I won cheetah by that tiny notch. It was phenomenal. I would never forget that day when I crossed the finish line, the cheers from the crowds and the wows by the king of the jungle. And the priceless honour to receive the olive crown of excellence.

And that stupid tortoise had to spoil my day by ridiculing me in front of the babes, and challenge me to a race instead. Of course I laughed at that suggestion, so as others too. But that hot bunny said that she was curious of seeing both of us in a race, so I accepted the tortoise's challenge.

As usual, I did my training drills a few weeks before the race to keep my fitness up to the mark. Even though it's a sure win for me, I cannot afford to be careless. There must be a good reason why that tortoise dared to challenge a five-time jungle champion, and I definitely wouldn't take any chances. My reputation was on the line, and so I had to keep myself in tip-top condition and win it with style.

But it was sure an unlucky day for me, really. On that big day, when I woke up, I found my basket of carrots missing. Apparently some shameless thief broke into my house and took them all away! Strangely, the rest of my valuables, like my carrot seeds and bunny ear pads, remained intact. I guess that thief must be a really hungry one, and when I get my hands on him/her/it... after I get that race over with first of course. My stomach was growling though, but it shouldn't be a problem for just a one farm lap race right?

At the starting point, my stomach was still growling, as loud as the rolling drum. That tortoise, hearing that growl, was kind enough to offer me a carrot to fill my stomach. It was delicious I had to admit, and was for a moment grateful of him. I was feeling more hyped up with energy than before. I was sure to win this hands down.

The roar of the lion king signalled the start of the run. I went ahead of the tortoise at the first instance, and it was a pretty smooth run with no hiccups like some hedgehogs standing in the way or scarecrows scaring the hell out of me. I ran, and ran, and ran, and without warning, I felt very, very dizzy. I stopped for a little while, knowing that the tortoise was still quite far back, and tried to shake myself back awake. No use. Then a splitting headache like a sledgehammer on my skull. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch...

After a few minutes, my headache and dizziness subsided. But I felt strangely tired and sleepy. The weather was hot, and a tree with a huge crown by the road side beckoned me to go over and enjoy its cooling cover. How could anyone resist that? And so I hopped myself over and sat under the tree, looking at the leaves sway with the wind before I closed my eyes.

“Beep beep. Beep beep.”

That was my pulse watch's alarm. It would ring if I were to slack too much, which usually amounts to five minutes. But strangely, the pulse watch's alarm was set to a full hour! I panicked. Does that mean I have slept for the past hour?? I panicked even more, before I rushed to the finishing line with speed and vigour never before. I actually broke my personal best timing with that sprint.

But the tortoise was already waiting, smiling, at the finishing line.

He waved.

***

Sun Tze's Art of War states: “Know thyself and thy enemy, and thy shalt know no losses”. Other animals would think that I was foolish enough to challenge the king of the hill in his tracks. They would be right if I were to have done it on impulse. Except that I didn't.

Preparation is very important in fighting a war. Sun Tze had also mentioned that we must be prepared and know the victorious outcome of the battle even before it was fought, rather than go into the battle trying the seek victory. Those who know me well know that I am never rash, and would plan everything prior the battles I face.

But still, I am quite appalled by the stupidity and dullness of the hare, who was so full of himself. Served him right. Any animal in their sound mind would be able to guess that the series of unfortunate events happened on the race day was orchestrated. I would have let him have the race if he were a little more sharp.

I researched the hare's training schedule for the race so that I would know as much about him as possible. His daily schedule, his diet, his leisure time, were all within grasp, so I could plot his demise effectively.

I know fully that I could never outrun him in any way, not even in a hundred years (even though by then he would already be six feet under), so the only way to win him is to prevent him from finishing before I do. Once this context was established, the strategy to adopt became crystal clear.

First, I would get rid of his breakfast. It took me a long while to convince the ninja turtles to help 'retrieve' the basket of carrots from his burrow. You should have seen their elegant execution of their mission. Raphael went onto the frontline to unlock the window. Then Michelangelo opened the window, while Donatello set up the CCTV to look out for any unexpected disturbances. And finally, Leonardo leapt into the room gracefully, and stealthily took out that basket of carrots. They said never put all your carrots in one basket. How amusingly true.

Next, I concocted a sleeping serum. The serum was formulated based on the metabolism readings and blood type collected from the hare when he 'accidentally' scratched himself one fine day, so as to achieve an optimum knock-out probability. I did some calculations on the amount of time needed for me to finish the race route, which was about fifty minutes. So I conveniently adjusted the concentration of the serum to allow him to 'rest' for an hour. Always give yourself a buffer to minimise risks of screw-ups to the minimal. Oh and before I forget, I have also asked Donatello to adjust the hare's 'Anti-slack' pulse watch to sound off at an hour instead of his usual five minutes, in case the serum worked too well. A little mercy is always desirable, isn't it?

And finally, the moment of truth. That 'altered' carrot sure looked tasty to me too, as it was cultivated with my heart and soul in my humble farm. But it has its own purpose of existence, which was fulfilled without any hitch. Its job is done with grace.

And so, victory was sealed.