BREAKING NEWS: SMRT and SBS announced initiative to address overcrowding and waiting times in trains and buses.

SINGAPORE: SMRT and SBS announced new measures to address the growing problem of overcrowding and long waiting times for buses and trains.

In the press conference yesterday afternoon, spokespersons from SMRT and SBS jointly announced a bold new initiative to reduce overcrowding and cut waiting times for their passengers. The measure involves a new approach geared towards changing how passengers travel: allowing passengers to sit on each others' laps.

The spokespersons presented their hundred-page review of current configuration of passenger positions on buses and trains and proposed this initiative to improve the efficiency of the packing of passengers. According to the review, allowing passengers to sit on each others' lap “maximises space usage in the cabin in the already scarce space available”. The initiative will also allow “an increase of 20-30% of maximum capacity of the cabins” and thus “significantly reduce waiting time, and allow more passengers to reach their destinations in the shortest time possible.”

Pak Sar Din, the SMRT spokeperson, said, “We are very pleased to present this review and announce this new initiative to solve a longstanding problem faced by everyone.”

“We will launch this initiative with effect from 1 September to benefit our passengers as soon as possible. Meanwhile, we will be holding educational campaigns to inform our passengers of this new initiative and how they can benefit from it.”

Monika Cheng, the SBS spokeperson, added, “In view of this new initiative, we will be suspending our plans to increase the number of buses and train frequencies since it will solve the problems anyway.

“Now we can focus on adjusting the transport fares to suit the everchanging landscape of the economy,” she added enthusiastically.

The hundred page report also highlighted various guidelines on how passengers should sit when sitting on others' laps. This includes recommended positions for couples sitting on each other and various methods for families to use one seat. Safety advisories such as discouraging heavier persons from sitting on top of lighter persons are also included. The full set of guidelines can be downloaded from the SMRT and SBS website, as well as obtained from bus interchanges and MRT stations islandwide.

Passerby A, before driving off in his Mercedes Benz, agreed with this new measure.

“Now I will finally stop hearing my colleagues complain about the long waiting times for their buses and trains.”

Day in Office.

A 'bold' (or ridiculous) attempt in trying to write something in a different way.  Feedback is very appreciated!

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Welcome to Windows

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Welcome back, Tom

8.25am

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RE: First Draft of Proposal

I have received your first draft of the proposal.  It needs a good number of changes.  Like the section on…

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Alice likes your link.

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                Alice  Such a strange day eh, dear?  Oh free for lunch later?  Same place.

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Spammer Hey Bro, I have a great offer for you this weekend…

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Alice and Janet are now friends with Dick and Harry

Dick and 5 of your friends posted a link.

Strange earthquake in London

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Kitten hugged by cat mother

8 people like this

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1103hrs

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Janet & Dick also commented on your link.

                Janet The world is going to end! Oh no! =(

                Dick Don’t worry, you still have me around ;P

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Harry shared a link: Ninja show well received by critics

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Mid-week Craze! 50% off all Rapture games!

Janet shared a link. Soo sweeet~

Best marriage proposal EVER.

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                Dick  Yeah, so sweet indeed.

                Janet  Yarh… how I wish someone could…

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Welcome back, Tom-enator

You are only 2 more badges away from becoming the Diviner! We recommend these great new games for you to earn your badges.

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The adventures of the Rag Tag Sorcerer!

Your quest is simple.  Slay the evil princess to rescue the beautiful dragon from the evil clutches of the King…

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1410hrs

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Dick posted on Janet’s wall.

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Dick -> Janet  Thanks for being a wonderful host last evening.  I had a good time! I will upload the photos in a minute.  You look gorgeous in them ;)

Janet -> Dick  Hehe, thanks for your complement.  I will check them out soon =) It’s great to know you!

Dick -> Janet  Same sentiments exactly! =D Okay I shall pm you instead of spamming your wall =P

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Janet

Lives in Singapore  Knows British English, Mandarin, Japanese, French  Born in Singapore

Recent activity

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Subject:  Hey Janet, free for dinner tonight?

1735hrs

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2 new messages.

From Alice

Subject: Since I won’t be seeing you tonight…

I will be passing by your favourite soya bean milk stall tomorrow morning.  Shall I get you some for breakfast before work?

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It’s okay, don’t really like soya bean anymore.  Tks.

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From Janet

Subject: Hey Janet, free for dinner tonight?

Oh, sure thing. See you later outside office?

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Microsoft Excel 2010: Loading data for Timesheet2011.xls

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Working hours:

Time in: 0830

Time out: 1800

Lunch time: 1230 – 1300

No. of hours worked (excluding lunch time):

9hrs

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Shutting down…

That damned brakes

To restart the momentum in my postings here, I shall begin by putting up one of my exercises done during my fiction module last semester.  As usual, comments are welcome =)

For the first time, I enjoyed the “brr brr” sound of my coffee maker as I sat at the dining table preparing tea. Yes, I know, I shouldn't be drinking yuan yang at this hour in my current condition, but when else could I drink it again? It would go really well with my bread and cheese for supper, especially after dipping it into that concoction of fragrant bliss.

What the hell have you done? You have messed it all up! Now how do I account to my client about this? Did you screw up the event deliberately just to get on my nerves? Did you? Did you??? Why are you laughing? Wait till you get it from me. You better watch out.

But it seemed that I hadn't had enough of eating, so I decided to ride to Komala's to get their roti prata. I changed into my riding suit, strapped on my helmet, fixed the headlights, and rode off in my bicycle into the main road after that irritating car horned past me. The road was strangely quiet in contrast to that driver who had no manners. The ride was quite peaceful along the way.

No, no... Why, why do you have to do this to me? I, I didn't do anything wrong lately, did I? No, I don't get it. I had been good to you, hadn't I? I had been a good girlfriend, hadn't I? Everything seems so good now. So why do you want to... No I don't believe you... Please don't leave me, please don't...

I rode into the pavement and stopped my bicycle beside the lamp post, leaving my helmet slinging at the handles. I locked the bike to the post with my sturdy U-lock that had served me well all these year. It was illegal to park there, but since I hadn't done anything illegal so far in my life... The prata house was crowded as usual at this hour. Maybe it is only crowded at this hour. Who knows?

Yes, Mr Tan, your insurance plan is in order so far. You are very diligent in paying your premiums all these years, so we value you a lot as our valued client... Yes? You want to check the coverage? It remains at fifty thousand for critical illness, and hundred thousand for death. The beneficiary will still be your mother Mrs Tan... Is there something of matter Mr Tan, you don't sound okay... Nothing? Okay then. It's been a pleasure to be serving you. Shall we meet for lunch soon? Okay, feel free to give me a call if you need anything else. See you!

I always liked to see the Indian chef perform his feat of tossing the prata in the air to smooth the texture and add more layers to its crunchiness. Always a marvel to watch his display of skills. And that teh tarik guy who could pull the drink along his arm span? I heard that he could pour the tea nicely into the other mug from one storey above. Isn't that amazing? Too bad I hadn't seen it myself yet. Cough, cough. Damn it, not again. Irritating. Couldn't I have my prata in peace for tonight?

Mr Tan, the test report is out. It is confirmed that you have terminal stage lung cancer. Yes, unfortunately, the chances of survival are... Yes, Mr Tan, I am so sorry. I wished that we could do more, but at this stage... Shall I help you to inform your family members? Okay, I understand. What we can do now is to extend your time through these few possible treatment options...

I gave a generous tip to the nice and friendly 'waiter' before making a move. No fine ticket for my illegal parking. And yes, as I had guessed, someone did make it off with my helmet. I laughed. The roads were still relatively clear of traffic, though there were some speeding cars zooming past the road junction once in a while... Ah, the traffic light is red now, and that green Lamborghini needs a little more red colour at the bonnet.

Ah boy, how come you reach home so late today. Overtime again is it? Have you eaten? You must be very hungry. Let me heat up the soup for you... Eh? Ah boy, you okay or not? Why are you crying? Aiya, tell me what happen? Did you colleagues bully you again? That fat manager right? No? Then... ? Okay, okay, never mind if you don't want to say. You go shower first okay? I go put some maggi mee into your soup later...

“Beeeeeep Beeeeeeeeeeeep............. Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.”

“Oi! You know how to ride a bicycle or not? You want to die is it? Siao ting tong...”

...

It's four already. I think I should go home and sleep instead.

Willpower.

One day, a man was sitting on the bench in the park. He was holding a metal spoon, and staring at it.

Then, another man came by and saw this. Curiously, he approached the man at the bench, and asked, "What are you doing?"

He replied, "I am training my willpower, such that I can bend this spoon with my willpower alone."

"How long have you been at this?"

"A few days already, but nothing seems to change. This means I do not have enough willpower. I have to devote more time and effort to it."

After listening, the other man smacked his forehead with his palm in disgust. He said indignantly, "Hey, let me show you what willpower REALLY is." Having said that, he took the spoon away, bent the spoon with his two hands, then handed it back to him.

"THAT, is willpower." He said with a tinge of frustration, before leaving to mind his own business.

The man at the bench stared at the bent spoon, looking a little confused. Then, a wave of epiphany struck him. He beamed at this new understanding, and happily left the bench to mind his own business too, leaving the spoon behind.

Just like the one standing right in front of you

Jane is a celebrity. A very famous celebrity. Everyone knows her.

However, Jane got sick of her high life and decided to leave the show business for further studies, hopefully to get some peace back into her life, as well as return to her delayed interest in English literature. Fortunately, she enrolled into a local university with her almost expired but sterling A level results from 7 years ago.

She hasn't got used to the school environment yet, since lessons started a week ago. She has trouble navigating the large school compound. She has difficulties adapting to the less than desirable quality of food in canteens. She also has difficulties using the photocopying machine when she needs to copy her notes from library books.

People around her are helpful though. Hand drawn maps are given to her to help find the classrooms. Suggestions to various superior food places are offered to her readily. And photocopying cards are lent to her upon request when she has trouble getting them. Of course, she was a celebrity after all.

With all these help, it is not surprising that she is able to pick up on her academics fairly readily even after a seven-year hiatus, as compared to a two-year one by other guys.

Then again, some problems do not have straightforward solutions. Annoying guys for example, who have the audacity to try to pick her up during lunch times. Irritating girls are another, who cannot stop acting nice in front of her, yet gossip behind her back. But she shrugs these problems off, keeping in mind that these people are much milder than those in the show business. Troublesome, but a still manageable price to pay towards achieve normality, she thought.

But little does she realise the true price of normality.

In a few days time, she will encounter problems using the photocopying machine again. The papers will jam and cause her to be panicky. Then a decent looking nice guy will notice her plight, and approach to help with the paper jam, with a blueberry jam sandwich in his pocket. He will carefully open the machine casing, where the paper will be stuck, and slowly but firmly pull out the remains. He will fix the dislodged screw that caused the jam too. And during the process, he will have a small conversation with her, while chewing on his sandwich.

He will ask, “I am curious about something. How do you feel when people around you treat you so differently, just because you are famous? How is it different from the people who knew you before you are famous? Does it mean that you will not find new true friends here?”

She will reply, “Well, I am not very sure about seeking new true friends but, I am sure I will figure something out.”

Then, he will say, “There are many good people in this school, as well as not-so-good people. You know what do I mean by not-so-good people? Those who have ulterior designs about you. Those who will stop at NOTHING to get their hands on you. And those who will watch your every action, from the distance, every single minute. Just like the one standing right in front of you.” He will have closed the machine casing after that.

“Oh, okay, thanks for your warning.” She will say awkwardly, before realising what that decent looking nice guy's last sentence means.

By then he will be walking away, snickering.