Friday, March 22, 2013

两个苹果派.



他们面对面地坐在一起,之间隔着一张米色的铁桌子。他们笑了笑,无视桌上凌乱的文件夹和刚来的一份煎牛肉套餐地畅谈了几句。她兴奋地说起了几天前在旅游中所发生的趣事,他则啃着刚出炉的苹果派,细细的听着和品茗嘴里丝丝的甜味。他的身旁放着一束艳丽的纸花,在黄色的吊灯照耀之下显得格外红润。

“纸花是折了很美,只是

他抬了头,不经意地注视着她的双眼。她犹豫了。

“那粗糙的纸,不能够替代真花的水润。”

代替?他深思着。那个字眼从来没有在他的词典里。

“我并没有想过要用纸花来代替真花啊…”

“哦。”她似乎明白了些什么。

煎牛肉吃完了,第二盘苹果派也被端了上来。她翻着文件夹里厚厚的资料,用铅笔为明天的工作沙沙地写着,画着。他则提着掌上电脑,边看充满喜感的漫画《银魂》,边吃微冷的苹果派,还不时从仍然充满甜蜜的嘴里大笑一番。《银魂》中的主角常常以最俗气的方式登场,但也常常以最振奋人心的感动,守护着自己的灵魂和信念,把混杂着泪水的笑容带给了众多的读者。他也不例外。

“所谓眼泪,是流出来就能把辛酸与悲伤的心情一起冲走的方便的东西。但是总有一天你们长大成人就会知道,人生中有眼泪也冲不走,令人伤心欲绝的事物,有绝不能用泪水冲走的珍贵痛苦。所以,真正坚强的人越是想哭时越会露出笑容,不论痛苦或是伤悲全拥抱怀中,即使如此依旧笑着,与其一同迈步向前。现在想哭的时候就哭吧,不过总有一天你们俩人也要成为那般坚强的武士。” - 银魂 (409)

时间就这样走了几个小时。

回家的路上,他们没说很多。

到了电梯门口,她按了按钮,然后接过了他手中的纸花。

“谢谢你送给我的花,我会好好地收着。”
“不客气,不客气。”
“那么,再见吧。”
“好的。”

电梯的门,随着她的电话响起而关上了。

会议.



会议结束了,大家从会议室纷纷离去,除了她在写着最后的笔记。

放下钢笔后,她抬起头来,看到半个熟悉的背影正靠着会议室的门旁。

“你在等我吗?”

他把手机放进口袋里。

“哦,我只是想问你下次见面会是什么时候。”因为他们在不同的办公室上班。

她翻了翻手中的行程表。“这我就不清楚了。下一次老板她你有什么事情吗?”

“哦,没什么,没什么只是有东西想要给你,但还没准备好。”

“这样啊,我到时候再让你知道吧。”

“好的。”他转过身子,拿起了公事包

而她又翻了翻行程表,猛然一震。

“等一下!”

他转过头来。

“我觉得如果你有话要说的话,你还是趁现在说吧。不然的话

他疑惑了好一阵子,但也似乎明白了过来。叹了一口气后,眼眶不禁红了。

“其实我只是还没有心理准备。”他打开了公事包,拿出了一个小盒子,递给了她。接过了盒子后,才发觉原来盒子是用一整张颜色纸折成的一封信。

“虽然我们认识了很久”她细细地在心里读着。读毕,她抬起头。“果然是对不起,我

“没关系,从你刚才的反应,我就明白了。”他无法正视着她。

傍晚的办公室已空无一人,唯有空调在细细地吹着乍暖还寒的微风。

“其实或许如果你早一点让我知道的话,可能”她一边把手中的信折成了一个小方块。

“事到如今,你觉得说这些有用吗?”他抬起了头。

“我,我不是故意,对不起,我

“没关系,真的没关系。最重要的是,不管结果怎样,我还是从你那里得到了答案。”他微笑了。  

此时,他们只听见办公室里的阵阵宁静。 

***

 办公室变暖了。他们互相道别后,她静静地坐在位子上收拾桌面。她又看了看手中的信,并把它折回原来的小盒子形状,然后把它放在抽屉里的一个小角落。 

电话响起了。接过电话后,她拿起了手提袋,从办公室里悄然离去。

Friday, March 8, 2013

I threw away the blue rose before dinner.


I was very surprised when I saw her approaching the fountain. I almost hid the blue rose behind me, but she still spotted it and approached me nevertheless.
“Well, well, fancy meeting you here.” She said cheekily.
“I… er…” I did not know what to say.
“Hahaha… relax!  I know this is really awkward for you.  In fact, I feel the same too.” She maintained her wide, charming smile. Her eyes seemed to sparkle against the flowing waters of the stone fountain beside us.  She was wearing a turquoise dress with black gold studded belt, and a matching pearl necklace with cream pair of flats. Her shining black shoulder length hair swayed slightly with the passing breeze.
I woke up.
“Oh, does your boyfriend…”
“He knew about this all along and did not mind, but he dumped me for someone else a month ago.” I could faintly spot a tinge of sadness in her eyes, but she went back to her smile just as quickly.
“I see…”
We looked at each other in that moment of silence, enveloped by the slight chillness of the windy afternoon, before she burst out laughing.  “Seriously, are you always this tense when meeting someone of the opposite gender? No wonder you haven’t saw anyone else ever since…”
“Shut up!” We laughed and I gave her an evil eye to stop her from continuing.  But she always knew how to relieve the tension around her.  Indeed, I was feeling a little more relaxed after that moment of awkwardness.
“Oh, before I forget,” I reached into my pocket, but she stopped me. “It’s okay, we can settle it at the end.  I trust that a decent fellow such as you won’t run away right?” She giggled.
“And how much time do we have?” Then I realised the redundancy of the question when she laughed again. “Three hours. Unless we count the amount of time lost since… twelve minutes ago. Hah, I am joking. I won’t be so strict.”
“So I should be glad about it?” I replied half-jokingly, though she probably didn’t find it funny from her half-condescending expression she put on right after that. “You should really work on your jokes.” I gave an awkward smile before she giggled again and squeezed my shoulder gently. I felt an overwhelming sense of assurance by that action.
“I am hungry, I haven’t had my lunch yet.  I know of a nice restaurant nearby that shouldn’t be too crowded at this hour. So shall we?” I nodded and she took my arm.
***
The restaurant wasn’t too far away from the fountain. It sat quietly on one side of the alley of eateries, away from the main road. It was quite a large place, but the crowd was thinning since it was right after lunch time. We sat near the window which faced a large green plaza with plenty of human traffic. There was a busker playing her guitar and singing a song near the middle of the plaza. We could barely hear what she was singing although she did have a mini speaker to amplify her voice.  We ordered a simple lunch set meal each, mine being fish and chips with cream of mushroom while she had her vegetarian risotto with sautéed onions and carrots. We also shared a small bottle of sake. 
“How’s work for you?” She started the ball rolling.
“Nothing special, I suppose. I’ve been doing the same old for the past few years. Interesting events do happen every now and then, otherwise it’s been pretty plain. I don’t dislike my job, but I do not have any particular passion for it too. Probably the nice bonus I get every year is what kept me going.”
We burst out laughing.
“Are you busy in school?” I passed the ball back.
“Not too bad. My projects are mostly done, exams are coming up but I am not too worried about it.”
“Confident, as usual.”
“Definitely!” She grinned. I blushed a little.
 The food didn’t take long to arrive to our table.  Her risotto came first, before my fish and chips shortly after, so we did not have to wait for each other.  She smiled at me again, but I maintained eye contact with the fish fillet instead.  She giggled. And for the next several minutes or so, we dug in without saying anything else.  Sometimes I will look up to her for a while, accompanied by the busker’s faint song. She is very attractive after all.  But I will look at my soup whenever she caught me glancing at her.  She would grin at me cheekily.
“So…” I stuttered a little.
“I know what you want to ask,” she scooped a corner of her risotto and dipped it into the gravy, “it has been quite a while now, ever since my dad…” A fleeting moment of sorrow revealed itself in her eyes, but she regained her cheery composure at the next instant. “Then comes the operations, and then the bills… you can figure out the rest of the story.”
“I understand. How is he now?”
“Much better than when he was first admitted, but still needs to go back for follow up.  He is getting better at least.”
“I see… I am glad.”
“Yes, me too definitely… thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it.” She placed the risotto into her mouth, and beamed.
I smiled too.
“And you…?”
“I also know what you want to ask.” I tried to sound a little more confident, but it probably came out all wrong. “You could probably guess too.”
“So it really is that, since she… that was seven years already.”
Seven years.
I looked out of the window, seeing how the passers-by walk past the busker without being willing to notice her presence.  A few did stop for a while and listened, but…
I put down my fork.
“Maybe I am looking in all the wrong places. Or maybe I haven’t forgiven myself for all the stupid things that I have done when she was around. Heck, I probably don’t deserve to be forgiven, and hence now…” I realised that I have said too much.  But I didn’t stop. “I know I have let go for her. But does that mean that I deserve not to have someone else walking into my life?” I reached for the cup of sake. “Maybe I am using my social ineptness as an excuse not to get hurt anymore.” The sake was ice cold.
She nodded, and reached over to squeeze my arm gently.
I gave a bitter laugh. “And last night, probably had too much of a drink, I went to the website, and called the number.  And tadah, here I am right now, in the strangest of situation. I almost wanted to throw away the blue rose a few times while waiting at the fountain. And I’ve never expected that you…”
“I know right, I know… I saw you trying to hide that rose, but it was too late for me to not see it too.”
We burst out in laughter. She squeezed my arm again.
“How is she now?” I found myself asking this most unexpected question.
“Well, I happened to have skyped her last week. Her second kid just turned a month old, and she showed her to me. She is so chubby and cute that I wished I could squeeze her cheeks over the internet.  But too bad she is many thousand miles away.”
I found myself smiling a little after hearing that, with a strange sense of relief.
And then, we moved our conversation to other things like the best teahouse in town, the worst strategy to use in Munchkins and the politics between school professors, till we polished our plates and cups clean. We never liked to waste food.
“Well, it’s about time, isn’t it?” She teased.
“Haha… Er… indeed… er… wait… Oh no, I forgot to…” I slapped my forehead.
“You mean you didn’t book any… My, oh my, you are still such a scatterbrain. How did you get promoted so quickly at work in the first place?”
I could only grin sheepishly.
“I tell you what. Since you are driving… there is a cosy place that I know we can go to. Shall we?”
***
I pulled over a few buildings away from her school.  I reached into my pocket for the brown envelope and passed it to her.  She opened it, worked her fingers through the contents, and took out two blue notes.  “This is for being such a great company today,” and stuffed them into my pocket before I could say anything. I scratched my head embarrassingly. We looked at each other for a moment, and she reached over and gave me a light hug.
“Thanks for being here today with me,” I shifted eye contact away to the windscreen.
She laughed and gave me a pat at my shoulder, “the pleasure was mine too. I hope you had a good time. ”
“Yeah, I did, very much.” I still didn’t look at her.
“All right, I shall be going now.”
“Actually…” I blurted, “actually…” I could feel the full flush on my face.
“Hmmmm?”
“Will it be possible for us to meet up again under a different circumstance?” I tried to maintain eye contact, but I couldn’t.
She pondered a little, and giggled. “We shall see,” and then knocked on my forehead gently with her finger before opening the door.
***

I stared out of the car window, not knowing what to expect from the sunset that was right in front. It was time for dinner.  So I restarted the engine, released the handbrake, and drove back home to cook myself a decent dinner.